the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
