OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
