And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
