You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I understand Curling. That high.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
