his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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