The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
