The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
