and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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