Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
