can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
