so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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