I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
