I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
