That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
