I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
