Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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