Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
