i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
