I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
