dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
