If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
