Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
