hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
