Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
