his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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