Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
