You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
