Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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