you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
