We named our party play list daddy issues
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
