we have officially lost it.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
