remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
