YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
