i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
