is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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