Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Floor bacon is actually really good
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
