Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And then my night got REAL pukey
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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