I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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