Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He felt like a one man threesome
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
