I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
