How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
