Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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