He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
