After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize