I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
