Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize