I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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