She's like a pop up book from hell.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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