new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
