So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
