Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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