I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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