My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
