i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
