Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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