"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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