Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Will exercising make me less horny?
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