My room smells like vodka and shame
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
