don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
