You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
