since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
