i barfeds in our rink
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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