If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wear drunk well.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
